Reaching out to an ex years later. Oct 15, 2025 · Relationships can be complicated.

Reaching out to an ex years later Some guidelines on optimal timing include: If possible, wait at least six months from the last ‘how we broke apart’ conversation, allowing time for seas of feelings to subside. I was with someone else during the year and a half apart. We'll refer to her as ex-A Why do ex’s reach out years later? Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Out of curiosity and interest to hear others stories. You may reach out or entertain their overtures because this person was once an integral part of your life. If you do decide to reach out, do so with realistic expectations and an understanding that you cannot control the outcome. Why now? Why, after all these years, has this ghost from your past decided to re-enter your life? Guess what? I am going to go over the various reasons why your ex decided to reach out and call you after so many years have passed. I reached out and apologized and told them Truth is, nobody knows your situation like you. How to talk to your ex: five tips for reaching out If you’ve decided to contact your ex, you may be struggling to find the best time and place to check in, as well as the right words to communicate your intentions. Nov 30, 2018 · When an ex suddenly gets in touch with you out of the blue, here’s how to calm your mind — and heart. What do we do if this happens? Yes. Feb 27, 2024 · Your ex, reaching out after what feels like a lifetime. By the time he reached back out to me for date #2, I was already dating someone else officially. I've done my homework and analyzed the behavior of many dumpers to understand how long it typically takes for them to reach out to their exes. Mar 5, 2018 · Many exes contact their previous partners years later. I’m referring to the super random “Hey! Long time! How have you been?” In the last 6 months, I’ve received several emails/texts from my last ex boyfriend. That's the advice they've given. It was a form of closure for him and I didn’t have to respond. Learn the right duration, what to do, and how to handle challenges. On the one hand, receiving an apology and acknowledging past wrongs may feel validating. You haven’t really ruled anything out, and circumstance just happened. It was mutual understanding. I have received an email from an ex from a bad breakup before, basically apologizing for things he didn’t realize until years later. Nov 14, 2020 · Reaching out to an ex years later can play out in one of two ways, you either connect with each other again or nothing good comes of it. It prompts them to reflect on their choices and attempt to reconnect with someone from their past. That being said I once reached out to an ex that I found out months after our dating (we only dated for 2 months) they were still talking to some mutual friends about me and lamenting how things ended. You don't reach out after no contact. Reflect on your feelings: Take some time to consider how you genuinely feel about Nov 7, 2021 · Regardless of what we tell ourselves about the good old days, or that things will be different, reconnecting with an ex warrants crucial considerations. A LOT has been unpacked since then, and I now see the relationship in a new light. I always trashed their emails or deleted their messages without reading. This desire to make Jul 4, 2024 · Find out what to do when an ex contacts you years later with these pro tips from a love and relationship expert! Out of curiosity: if you ever reached out to an ex boyfriend/ girlfriend/ husband/ wife years later: what did you want out of it? A part of me feels like I need to give him closure and I'm not sure how? It could also just be curiosity which I understand to a certain extent I guess. I gave him time as well and there were times that he will reach out to me first. Maybe, after self-evaluation, he genuinely missed being with you. I wouldn’t want to reach out prematurely cause I’m missing Mar 24, 2020 · Stuck inside with little to do? Feeling the urge to reach out to an ex? A relationship researcher gives sound reasons to resist that urge. Aug 14, 2016 · It's almost the weekend and you're getting ready to head out and meet the girls for dinner and a few cocktails. Aug 20, 2024 · Perfect timing is important when reaching back out to an ex. Even if I reached out Then, 2. I think going into it with understanding is what’s necessary if you’re going to reach out. It’s like revisiting an old favorite movie. But before you hit send on that casual-cool "how you been?" Aug 8, 2024 · In recent years, a fascinating trend has emerged among older Americans in the dating scene: reconnecting with past romantic partners. We had a messy breakup and after 15+ years, I grew up enough to realize my part in it. Conversations went fine, because by that point I had no feelings left for any of them and had no desire to get Mar 5, 2018 · Should I talk to my ex after 2 years? If 2 years went by since your relationship ended and you're trying to figure out if you should talk to your ex, the answer to this question strongly depends on who broke up with who, how you feel about your ex, and whether you can handle your ex ignoring you or telling you that he or she is happily married. Dec 21, 2024 · Why did my ex contact me after 20 years or 10 years? Learn what's behind an ex reaching out after a year and how to navigate their motives with clarity. My ex & I had no contact for almost 6 months. I've noticed this phenomenon occur every 5-10 years (and 2 recently after 15 years), like clockwork, with almost every past male relationship I've had (friendship/casually or seriously intimate/acquaintance). All were after at least the 6 month mark, some years later. Start now. Don't listen to all the negative comments, people change, humans make mistakes. The truth is that there's one main reason that your ex will reach out to you post breakup and it's not something you should ignore. " Ha. Since I can remember, I experience past male friends, exes or acquaintances randomly reach out to me through social media, and suddenly want to reconnect, out of nowhere. I’d love to hear about what you’re up to and how you’ve been. He then had continued to reach out every 5 days, and it was making things extremely hard for me, so day after Christmas he texted me and we had a good convo that ultimately ended with me asking that he didn't reach out to me anymore. Hasty reconnections often stem more from loneliness than readiness to work on issues. But what happens when your ex reaches out to you after some time has passed? Should you respond, or should you ignore them and move on? Here are 11 simple ways to handle this situation. 1. Better to let them initiate contact if they Coach Lee answers the question, "Should I reach out to my ex?" He does so with the assumption that you want your ex back after they broke up with you. You acknowledge that you know it’ll take time to rebuild and that you want to work on that. Each relationship may come with unique challenges, setbacks, or breaks. Humans are naturally inquisitive and sometimes just want to know what happened to people they used to know. I asked him out to dinner for our first date. It was the third time they broke up with me in the course of a year. Like you said before, don’t force anything and it’s best to move on. How long did your ex take to come back? Jul 30, 2025 · I hope you don’t mind me reaching out. I think it’s entirely dependent on the person. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. AM, has an ex ever reached out to you years later? How did the conversation go? What is your relationship like now? Archived post. Understanding their motivations can provide clarity and help you decide how to respond. Mar 30, 2023 · Discover why your ex is reaching out after years of no communication. On the other hand, it may also bring up old feelings of hurt, anger, or confusion. 5 years later, he reaches out to apologize for being a terrible person and making me feel like shit. Mar 5, 2018 · How to reach out to an ex after a breakup? The best way to reach out to your ex is to reach out with a common interest. Ok no matter what, if your ex blocked you hasn’t reached out after all this time, they most likely don’t want to be in contact with you anymore. About 7 months the into the healing process and no contact, I signed up for therapy. So after high school I just faded out on her and then stopped responding. For those who had an avoidant ex reach out months/years later - what happened? This isn’t a post to fill me or anyone else up with hope that one day your ex might come back. I am honestly at a loss for words. May 8, 2023 · When a past romantic partner reaches out to apologize, it can be a moment of mixed emotions. Breaku From what I have seen from many people it takes on average between 3-6 months, in some cases it did take more than a year. When an ex comes back into your world years later, you probably ask yourself why they are reaching out now after so long. My ex gf lied, used me and we were always arguing which led to an ugly break up. Many older adults are revisiting old connections, whether it's rekindling a relationship with a high school sweetheart, a college flame, or even an ex-spouse. See full list on wikihow. Is it to make them feel better or you? Chances are if it’s to make you feel better you should just let it be. 7) Your ex has problems that led to the break-up Your ex might have previously broken up with you because of something that they couldn’t control and they are contacting you because that obstacle is now removed. *I know there is no point to wait for your ex to reach out, but we are humans and at some point it will mean a lot that the person who dumped us for no reasons is finally feeling guilty and reaching out! 6 months no contact! No contact since day one. About a year and a half ago i (30M) was a dumpee scouring this page and the rest of google search for answers how to get my ex back. It falls back into the old dynamic…been there done that. Has your ex (dumper) ever reached out, how long time passed before that… Sometimes people move on and sometimes they don’t. I messaged my ex after 1. Mar 21, 2017 · Your Brain's Response to Your Ex, According to Neuroscience The good and the bad of what happens when you connect with an old flame. A couple getting back together 15 years later strikes me as less worrisome than a couple getting back together after a few months or years -- you're now very different people, and the issue that split you up seems like it's pretty resolved, since kids are off the table now. I'm the dumpee. Sometimes breakups happen for unfortunate situations, and sometimes the dumper feels as afraid to reach out as you. I have worked on myself a lot and learned a lot from that relationship. . They might reach out after years of no communication, triggering a whirlwind of nostalgia and emotions. So, if you want to text an ex, think if Reaching Out To Ex, 3 years after I need to get this off my chest somewhere, and I need to hear what the proper course of action is. I read on the avoidant attachment subreddit that it's better to not contact an avoidant person for at least 6 months when you use no contact. That was just the pretext I needed to reach out. A desire to hold on to that connection or revive it even after years is natural. It's natural to feel uncertain about how to respond or whether to respond at all. I reached out to an ex from college after a college zoom party with about 20+ people during Covid. It’s purely to hear stories of peoples avoidant ex’s returning later down the line - did you expect them to reach out or was it a surprise? How did you feel when they Feb 20, 2024 · If you haven't spoken to your ex since you broke up, it can be difficult to know where to start. I ended up reconnecting with him 2 years later when I moved to his city. If she never reaches out, well, you’ll reach a point where you’ll laugh about it. Just work on moving on and let things happen in their own time. Jun 6, 2022 · Reaching out to you out of the blue can shows that your ex is unhappy with their current situation. Contact your ex about something you and your ex both care about without sounding demanding or forceful. I won’t go into detail about us being friends, then friends with benefit’s, and having argument’s because that would take a lot of words. Wanting to hang out with an ex is an even harder task. But short terms have way more potential later on. May 1, 2020 · Reach out because you’d like to reconnect to see where someone is at in their life, to share a memory of past times, or offer a show of support and caring. They don’t always reach out to come back Reply reply Zestylemoncookie • 37 votes, 208 comments. If you've experienced a breakup, it can be normal to think about your ex and consider options for reconnecting. You may find yourself fantasizing about rekindling the flame and getting back together. Some exes after regretting breaking up… will reach out through breadcrumbs… some will apologize heavily… and some will fear reaching out…their ego, pride and their desperation will play a role here… Nov 9, 2025 · If you have any safety concerns, take care of yourself first and enforce a strict no-contact rule with your ex. Sure you can reach out to her and talk,Catch-up or whatever but dont you think that after a year if she really missed you or wanted to get back with you she would have made an attempt? Probably the same reason why my ex-girlfriends reach out from time to time? They have a fond memory and want to reach out to another human they shared good times with. But honestly speaking, as a dumpee, I’d only reach out once I’m really content with myself and my life. They don’t always reach out to come back Reply reply Zestylemoncookie • But if we're looking for optimism, a friend of mine, his ex came back and they're stronger than ever but that's because. I have an ex that still reaches out and it’s been about 15 years. Uncover 18 possible reasons and find out what they mean. So, if you want to text an ex, think if Has anyone told their ex they cant be friends with them later had them reach out and try to get back together? Sep 30, 2023 · Seeing an ex you still have feelings for years later can bring up a rollercoaster of emotions. It has been just over a year since we broke up. Dumpers who reached out to their ex some times after the break up to reconcile and were rejected - how did you feel after? 33 votes, 63 comments. May 29, 2019 · Relationship experts reveal the reasons your ex may be reaching out, and how to know whether you should respond or ignore them. Mar 26, 2025 · Breaking the pattern of reaching out to an ex after an unhealthy relationship requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and a commitment to healing. Recognizing the underlying reasons for this behavior is the first step in understanding why it happens. Messaging her is very unlikely to change anything. 4 years later somehow we reconnected as friends which is a long story, we both changed and matured soo much. Don’t feel weird. Feb 20, 2024 · If you went out with someone briefly, but want to reconnect, send these texts. Personally, I would not mind having a friendship later down the line, but it's something we should both feel comfortable with. S. No offense because I was just like you, waiting for my ex to reach out and when she didn’t after 2 years I wondered if she cared about me at at all. Oct 9, 2019 · In my case, I always had an excuse to reach out because the timing was all set around the holiday weekend. Never heard a peep from them. I had an ex reach out to me today after 3 years. Nobody knows for sure and his isn’t a science. Over the years, three ex-friends tried to reach out, one of them for almost five years (!!). Messaged my ex because I knew deep down that I still loved him. 92 votes, 51 comments. Found out my ex was returning to the states on the same day that I found out the person I was with at the time had been cheating for months. I can also relate to the other person and for me the thought of reconnecting with my high school best friend is anxiety provoking because I just want to forget those years entirely, plus looking back on it the relationship was enmeshed and not healthy. The sparks were still there and now, 11 years after our first meal together, we're enjoying married life! :) Edit: P. And then I blocked him, as I did not believe he wouldn't reach out. Here are ten reasons why exes reach out years later. I (28F) texted my ex (29M) a couple days ago. I think all of them reached out more than once. I don’t think anyone could put a timeframe on if your feelings will die out or not. How did you reach out and start the process of talking again. Wait for at least six months to contact them. They get curious or nostalgic, so they reach out via text, call, or social media. If it's an ex Why would an ex reaches out to you after years of no contact? Unfriended my ex 5 years ago and recently got a friend request from him on Facebook. My first boyfriend (we were 15 when we dated) reached out to me several years later when I was in college to thank me for being the link between him and his now-wife. I reached out tonight : r/ExNoContact     Gaming Sports Business Crypto Television Celebrity Go to ExNoContact r/ExNoContact r/ExNoContact Discover why the No Contact Rule works after a breakup. Reply reply dicedwatch • Jun 18, 2025 · When you're trying to figure out how long to wait for an avoidant ex to come back, you’re probably stuck in a confusing space between longing and logic. 3 years ago, I (22 now) dated one of best friends from college. They "suddenly realized we weren't compatible. Your relationship is over, so what's up? What prompted you to reach out to an ex-partner after a long time? I’m not talking about months/weeks after the breakup when it’s still fresh. But then again any ex you don’t have an issue with you grew attached can go from great night one to arguing 2 weeks later if it was long term. In this blog, we'll explore “when an ex reaches 37 votes, 208 comments. 5 years no contact… we had dated for 3 years. Learn when to stay away and when to reach back - make sure you know the signs before it's too late. One potential reason that may cross your mind is that they want to rekindle things and get back to you. But at the same time, this sudden comeback could be a red flag too. Consider why you are reaching out. But what are these reasons? Let's find out the reasons & solutions! Mar 13, 2018 · Whether you broke up six months or six years ago, reaching back out to an ex can be nerve-wracking. You must be prepared to move on either way. In some cases, relationships end, and you may desire to reach out to or reconnect with your ex. Your ex may have experienced lingering remorse for their behavior and found that apologizing was necessary for their own emotional well-being. My self esteem is much higher and I would never tolerate that behavior again. Jan 27, 2025 · Deciding whether to reach out to an ex requires careful consideration of your motivations, the nature of the relationship, and your emotional state. It’s not uncommon for avoidants to reach out 6 months or even years after the breakup wanting to get back together, especially if you parted ways on positive terms. They can always reach out at any point, but you have to maintain the mindset that they never will so that you can move forward with your life. It's honest and useful. I’m in a similar situation where it’s been 9 months since my break up (my ex of over 5 years broke up with me) i did a similar thing to you of an anime arc of bettering myself. Spread the loveBreaking up with someone can be difficult, and often times we wonder if we made the right decision. The day I got better was the day I understood women a little more, most of the time they are not going to reach out and that’s because they look at relationships a lot different than men. com Nov 10, 2025 · With the help of consultant psychologist Jaseena Backer (MS Psychology), who is a gender and relationship management expert, let’s figure out the reasons why your ex contacts you years later and what you can do to cope with this mysterious text. Wish you the best however, you'll find your person, the universe works in weird ways. It’s your choice whether you wanna give it a shot or not. Looking back at my first ex, where I was the dumpee, I could only start doing that after years (and then still only meeting 1-2 times per year). Exes reach out for a lot of reasons, and wanting a relationship again might be one of them. By reaching out, they determine whether their ex hates them, likes them, loves them, respects them, or feels neutral about them. Reply reply More replies Menatlly_Unstable • Reply reply More It's a hard truth. I had an ex reach out after 8 years to apologise for cheating lol said he spent years feeling guilt and needed to get it off his chest after doing inner work. Mar 5, 2018 · If you're wondering, "Will I ever hear from my ex again?" I may have some good news for you. A control freak ex of mine reached out a year or so later and said his next girlfriend had just dumped him and said exactly the same things I did, so he realised it WAS him, and he apologised (by email). Receiving unexpected contact from an ex can leave you perplexed and full of questions. It sucks sooo much. Even if it’s just to confirm they don’t have feelings for you anymore. An ex reached out to me after 6 years of NC earlier this year. Reply reply xreallyrockabilly • May 30, 2024 · Why You Should Not Contact An Ex Who Dumped You While there are many reasons to avoid reaching out to your ex, here are the most important ones to my knowledge. Why do I want my ex to come back? Individuals may sometimes experience a longing for their ex after a breakup. Is it sincere? Do you actually want to apologize, or do you just need an excuse to talk to the person? Apologizing to an ex isn't something you should do unless you're sure it's coming from a sincere place, especially if you did them If your ex has come back to your life after months of no contact, it can signify their prevailing soft corner for you. May 28, 2025 · Here, two experts weigh in on the situations when texting an ex is a good idea—and when it isn't. Reply reply 00aced • A few of my exes have actually contacted me 4-5+ years later telling me they still had feelings for me, and I think it’s okay. They say, "if you're asking when to break no contact and contact them?" their answer is "probably never. This is something I’d also want to receive from my ex. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I'm hoping for my ex to one day reach out to me, obviously different situations but I have some hope. [Take Poll] So a casual text like this may be the best way to reconnect! Yes, all my exes have reached out after dumping me except the most recent. Nov 18, 2024 · Is it ever a good idea to reach out to an ex? I asked two marriage and relationship therapists for their advice on reconnecting. I heard from my sister who was still connected to my ex best friend's May 7, 2025 · If you still feel connected to your ex, don't worry; there can be various reasons for this. Why Do Exes Reach Out Years Later? There are several reasons why ex’s reach out years later, including they are just checking up on you, they want to offer a sincere apology, or they are jealous of your happiness. Jun 30, 2023 · One reason that an ex might reach out after five years is simply because they’re curious about your life. You go through the motions and hope time will make them miss you enough to reach out to you and see how you're doing but don't hold your breath. A year might be needed for them to come to terms with their actions and decide that making amends is important. It sucks. But before you hit send on that casual-cool "how you been?" Nov 30, 2018 · When an ex suddenly gets in touch with you out of the blue, here’s how to calm your mind — and heart. Regret can stem from a variety of reasons such as unresolved feelings, missed opportunities, or the realization of the value of a past relationship. Even if it’s not great, it’s safe. I’m not talking about booty calls. Originally posted to r/relationship_advice Original Post June 19, 2019 Throw away account because this needs to stay secret for now. ” Reader Poll: We asked 1821 wikiHow readers and only 9% of them would reach out to an ex by calling and sharing their feelings. Jan 14, 2022 · Don’t Initiate Contact Without a Clear Idea of Why You’re Reaching Out to an Ex Years Later If you’re unsure of whether it’s okay to initiate communication after a breakup, the chances may be that you’re actually unsure of why you’re doing it. Oct 16, 2022 · When an ex contacts you years later, you have to wonder what they want. First time in 3 years. I’ve had exes reach out well over six months later- sometimes even years later. Coach Lee answers the question, "Should I reach out to my ex?" He does so with the assumption that you want your ex back after they broke up with you. Has an ex ever reached out to you years later? How did it go? What is your relationship like currently? Archived post. You might miss happy memories after seeing social media posts or desire closeness from before. Reply reply dicedwatch • May 7, 2025 · If you still feel connected to your ex, don't worry; there can be various reasons for this. they communicated what caused the break up in the first place, went to therapy about it and acknowledged honestly, what they needed to work on together and separately. Sep 17, 2025 · If you have thoughts like these, reaching out for support from a professional before acting may be beneficial. I know sometimes it takes several years to get over someone, but 12 years and sending a long text telling them you still dream about them is really … I’m glad he replied and was gracious about it. Like going through a drug withdrawal. Contacting An Ex Diverts Your Focus For The Worse I don’t care how much you love your ex; contacting them to get them back should be the last thing on your mind after being dumped. 2. Nov 7, 2021 · Regardless of what we tell ourselves about the good old days, or that things will be different, reconnecting with an ex warrants crucial considerations. Almost a year later she transferred out of my department (due to downsizing) and, within a couple months, put in her two weeks because she was tired of being juggled around. They may have broken off with them months or years ago, but suddenly then contact you again out the blue. Jul 28, 2025 · Reconnecting with an ex while married is unarguably tricky territory. This is a very common problem for people who’ve been in relationships with narcissists. Instead, you should focus on distancing yourself Oct 15, 2025 · Relationships can be complicated. Thanks in advance! Archived post. Plus, find out how long you should wait to text your ex and what to say if your ex texts back. Here are 16 sample texts to send your ex after a long time. But at this point everything to be said between us has been said. As the title said when is it appropriate to reach out and try and get closure from your ex after a confusing last text and last communication. There were no hard feelings between us and he’s the one who dumped me because he had too much going on in his life at the time. What do you think about ex’s reaching out years later? My (24F) ex (27M) has reached out after 2 years of no contact. Also, you seem to understand that reaching out is the dumper’s responsibility. years later, they're still together. Ex reaching out after 10 years, I'm at a loss for what to answer with. Aug 25, 2025 · Feelings of guilt and regret can be powerful motivators for reaching out and apologizing. I would treat the convo as a long lost friend but be straight forward you are not looking to restart anything if it’s steering that way. Dec 15, 2024 · Men, he explains, sometimes reach out because they associate their ex with familiarity. I was heartbroken and felt like i had lost a literal part of me. Even if I reached out Why would a man reach out to an old flame randomly months (sometimes years) later? I don’t get it and it seems like it never fails. As you're finishing up your makeup and double-checking your tresses, you hear a text Has anyone told their ex they cant be friends with them later had them reach out and try to get back together? Sep 30, 2023 · Seeing an ex you still have feelings for years later can bring up a rollercoaster of emotions. Do you think it's wise to reach out to people from your past that you haven't had anything to do with for years? In the last… Oct 26, 2025 · There’s nothing wrong with apologizing when you figure out you were wrong, even though it’s years later. Those of you who reached out years later…why? What was your intention behind it? What did you hope to get out of it? Oct 15, 2023 · The Role of Regret in Reaching Out Years Later The role of regret can be a significant factor in why guys reach out years later. Nov 12, 2025 · An ex reaching out doesn’t necessarily mean they want to get back together with you. Probably for the best. (Yes I was dumped every time, I have an issue with not being able to “give up” in relationships). Get your ex back. Now we are married since 2 years. Reaching out is tricky if you want to get back together, because it’s either you can be just friends with your ex, or you will give them space and move on, and the best one is to work with them and have a mutual understanding if you want to try again. umkniiv hinck gvry dtx hmopm eyjdw icefook kymudh fba ffzmlnit djgkygx sbw ukpikop fmu jbove