How to respond to bpd silent treatment What can you do about it? Someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may start giving you the silent treatment. However, this can further negatively impact relationships. May 10, 2025 · Learn how to recognize, understand, and effectively respond to your childs silent treatment. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup > Topic: how should i respond to her silent treatment w/o enabling BPD Pages: [1] Go Down « previous next » Print Author Topic: how should i respond to her silent treatment w/o enabling BPD (Read 744 Nov 3, 2024 · Yet, forms of emotional and psychological abuse like the silent treatment is an equally damaging form of abuse. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: My thoughts on Discard / Silent Treatment / No Contact Pages: [1] Go Down « previous Jan 1, 2021 · BPDFamily. . Unless you want to deal with the silent treatments forever. You may find yourself riding waves of intense emotion, conflict, and confusion, yet wanting deeply to help your loved one feel seen, heard, and safe. The aim of this guide is to provide helpful information when someone you know has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Here are some healthy, assertive ways for you to respond to the silent treatment from a friend. The silent treatment can tend to present itself as a response more fitting of the ‘high road’, one of grace and dignity, but research has shown it is anything but. co. org The silent treatment is pretty similar to a bad breakup. Feb 17, 2025 · Giving someone the silent treatment can make them feel excluded and ignored. But it can also be a tactic in emotionally abusive relationships. Her response is usually about how i make things always about me—like i’m selfish. Have you ever been the victim of the silent treatment or stonewalling? Learn how to respond to these emotionally abusive tactics. If they see that it is effective, then they’re more likely to keep doing it. Jul 9, 2008 · Ah, the "silent treatment" and that empty, trapped feeling we get when our partner chooses to ignore us. This subject line is the perfect synopsis of BPD! They give you the silent treatment then get mad if you don't pursue them or even if you do, but then give them space. Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. In quiet BPD, instead of confronting them or bursting out in rage, you shut down. You may disappear, ignore the offender, unfriend them on social media, or give them the silent treatment. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. Silent treatment is emotional abuse. What does the silent treatment do to your brain? As a child, my parents (mostly mom) would give me the silent treatment when they were upset with me - sometimes for days to weeks at a time. This article will explore strategies to deal with the silent treatment, offering practical tips to improve communication, set boundaries, and maintain emotional well-being in relationships. Oct 10, 2023 · Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder, or quiet BPD, is a subtype of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often misdiagnosed or undiagnosed due to its unique symptoms. While traditional borderline personality disorder (BPD) symptoms are often more expressive, quiet BPD takes a subtler approach. This is about the third or fourth time she has ended things and it was only a casual relationship lol. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: Silent treatment after breaking up and no closure or goodbye r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD looking for mutual support and resources to help guide them through their journey. Rather than reacting impulsively or with anger, it’s essential to remain calm, collect your thoughts, and address the situation with the individual involved. What is the best response to the silent treatment from BPD? The best response to the silent treatment is to find a counselor who works on core damage and co dependent behavior. 3 days ago · Discover the key borderline personality disorder symptoms in females, how they differ from men, and effective ways to treat BPD symptoms. Oct 31, 2025 · Discover the impact of the silent treatment in relationships. Avoid unhelpful responses. com > Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD > Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD > Topic: Silent Treatment -- Healthy response? Apr 28, 2025 · Is your partner giving you the cold shoulder? Understanding the silent treatment, its damaging effects, and practical strategies for responding effectively. Nov 4, 2013 · Being in a relationship with someone with traits of borderline personality disorder can be incredibly challenging. Jan 1, 2021 · BPDFamily. uk Do people with BPD push you away My quiet exBPD told me I didn't respect her BPD due to me not respecting the silent treatment she gave me and self harmed herself because of that, afterwards telling me I was a risk for her and discarded me. Dec 23, 2023 · Explore effective strategies and insights to address and resolve silent treatment in relationships, fostering healthier communication and emotional well-being. So messed up. Check out our ideas below for how to respond to the silent treatment in your life. It's healthy not to pursue someone who's giving you the silent treatment! Your pwBPD is basically training you to be codependent and have an anxious attachment style. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup > Topic: Splitting, Silent Treatment, Discard - how do you deal with it? Dec 23, 2023 · Explore effective strategies and insights to address and resolve silent treatment in relationships, fostering healthier communication and emotional well-being. If you don’t respond, then there’s a chance she/he might try a different tactic. Feb 14, 2025 · Learn about devaluation and how to recognize it in BPD. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup > Topic: how to deal with silent treatment Feb 17, 2018 · THE BASICS To sum up, if your partner gives you the silent treatment more than you feel is reasonable, look inward at how much support you provide for your partner’s self-worth. Takedown request | View complete answer on Sep 6, 2024 · Borderline rage is an intense, overwhelming emotional response that can leave both those experiencing it and those around them feeling confused and hurt. My ex w bpd did it near the end of our relationship. A discard is frequently a manifestation of these struggles. Fortunately, there are strategies for coping with frustrating situations that Yep, it's super disrespectful. The key to being closer in the good times lies in the way a couple treats each other during the bad. It's not personal in the way a typical breakup might be. Tips on how to respond to the silent treatment effectively and with dignity. Dec 27, 2023 · This difficulty in emotional control can sometimes manifest as passive-aggressive behavior. The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies. Final thoughts on responding to the silent treatment Before you consider responding to the person, you need to figure out the reason for their behavior. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: The real reason they use Silent treatment (information) Jul 2, 2022 · A common question that many survivors of narcissistic abuse have is, “How should I respond when the narcissist in my life gives me the silent treatment?” As a general rule, the best response that you can have to a narcissist’s silent treatment is to not engage with them. Jul 12, 2024 · Why someone might give you the silent treatment & how to respond Are you trying to hold a conversation with someone but getting no answers in return? Then you may be dealing with the silent treatment, a common tactic some people may use to Sep 21, 2019 · Some times, non-borderlines launch into "No Contact" campaigns with only a vague understanding of what they are doing and they end up engaging in something that would be better called "the silent treatment". J. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup > Topic: 1 month silent treatment Sep 15, 2023 · Symptoms and Signs of Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder Understanding the symptoms of Quiet BPD is integral to recognizing this subtle yet impactful disorder. Once he sees you’re not thinking about him constantly he’ll respond. But if I see something is wrong with a friend I still make an effort to comfort them. Apr 21, 2025 · Understanding the BPD Discard Before we delve into how to respond, it's crucial to understand why a discard happens in the context of BPD. When you appreciate how a borderline person hears you and adjust how you communicate with them, you can help diffuse the attacks and rages and build a stronger, closer relationship. Oct 18, 2023 · When faced with this situation, it’s important to approach it with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to resolve the underlying issues. How do you respond to bpd silent treatment? How to respond Name the situation. Apologize for words or actions. The narcissist will stop talking to the person, will not take their calls, not respond to the texts and if one is living in with the narcissist then there would be a cold shoulder at all times. Saying no to someone with borderline personality disorder can be triggering and result in a BPD episode, more so if they’re not in treatment. My relationship finally ended partly because I set a boundary with her and put my foot down about her silent treatment routine she always pulled. Use ‘I’ statements. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup > Topic: Silent Treatment: How Do They Do It For So Long ? People with BPD sometimes struggle to be self aware about splits, so having the firsthand experience might give you some insights your partner wasn’t able to before. PLEASE HELP (Read 2749 times) Dec 17, 2019 · How the heck do you respond to something so childish? We consulted a team of professionals—relationship therapist Jean Fitzpatrick and individual and couples therapist Irina Firstein —to help us figure out how to respond to the silent treatment without regressing back to infancy ourselves. For him and others with BPD, this requires professional help and effort on their part. It's a special kind of pain that makes you question your Aug 7, 2012 · Here are some of the ways you can cope with your own feelings and learn to react to a person with Borderline Personality Disorder that don’t add fuel to the fire, but helps to diffuse some of the tension and emotional upheaval. Understanding this concept is crucial for better mental health and relationships. What personality disorder gives the silent treatment? For those in or getting out of a romantic relationship with a self-absorbed individual, the silent treatment can feel like a punishment worse than death. Here is how to do it: Sep 16, 2024 · According to psychologists, there are 10 genius ways to respond to someone who's giving you the silent treatment. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup > Topic: 1 month silent treatment Apr 21, 2025 · Understanding the BPD Discard Before we delve into how to respond, it's crucial to understand why a discard happens in the context of BPD. I normally hate the silent treatment game as it "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Silent treatment comebacks that help you respond effectively when someone goes quiet. Check your own behavior Went from calling me about 6 times a day to randomly 3 weeks of silent treatment. 1 This psychological tactic, often disguised as a benign or passive response, can What happens when BPD splits? BPD splitting destroys relationships by causing the person to distort how they see themselves and others. Be honest. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Learn how to reassure someone with BPD while maintaining your own mental health. The symptoms often lie beneath the surface, hidden from public view but causing internal turmoil for those affected. This person will use the silent treatment manipulation as a weapon to bring you to your knees and get what they want from you. It causes the child to literally feel invisible at an age when they need their parents to reflect back on them who they are to confirm their existence. May 1, 2025 · Helping someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be both deeply meaningful and incredibly challenging. Unlike typical anger, borderline rage can erupt suddenly, often in response to perceived abandonment or intense stress, making it challenging to manage. It’s important to remember that people with BPD who struggle with communicating directly are not doing so to manipulate others Nov 17, 2025 · BPDFamily. Do not reach out during the silent treatment. People with BPD may resort to passive-aggressive behavior (like the silent treatment) as a response to an intense negative emotion since it offers an outlet for their struggles. Find out why people do it, whether it is abuse, and how to respond. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Mahari explores the differences between BPD silent treatment and ghosting, providing insights and self-care strategies in this episode. It undermines a sense of safety that is essential in an intimate relationship. Don’t stress yourself waiting for a response. Maybe you don't know what you did or perhaps you do and you thought that it was a disagreement that could be talked through. She is my best friend and the only person iv ever loved and while she has hinted at this before we have never broken up but now she has sead Jul 24, 2023 · What is the silent treatment? The silent treatment is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else. The only way for the silent treatment to end was for me to say sorry (even if I did nothing wrong). ” Many people cut off their partners emotionally to hurt, punish, or manipulate them. com > Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD > Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD > Topic: Silent Treatment -- Healthy response? "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The silent treatment can feel suffocating, like you're walking on eggshells, replaying every conversation, wondering what you did wrong. Jan 1, 2021 · Depression = 72% of members Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies. it is thee most hurtful thing to me. You probably feel unwanted right now and unsure of how to fix things. We hit a rough patch and she took forever to answer on WhatsApp, but was super active on tik tok and insta. Oct 12, 2024 · Learning how to respond to the silent treatment isn't all that hard. From this you will learn why you find a one sided, loveless and abusive relationship to be all you deserve. Discover strategies for promoting healthy communication, conflict resolution, and emotional regulation in this informative guide. On the day I ended the relationship, it took her 9 hours to answer my message, it was the final straw for me. Knowing how to say no to someone with BPD in a way that doesn’t invalidate them or trigger their fear of abandonment is key – especially if your loved one isn’t treating their BPD. When you are told of the diagnosis you may feel mixed emotions – a mixture of relief mixed with the uncertainty about their future, anxiety, guilt, and blame. BPD relationships shift between highs and lows. 1. Jul 9, 2018 · If this sounds like you, please know you are not alone. The silent treatment is not good - it is often characterized by professionals as an emotional manipulation; an abusive action in and of Jan 13, 2025 · Quiet borderline personality disorder doesn't fit the typical BPD criteria and often goes misdiagnosed. If you don’t give others a chance to explain or to try and mend the relationship, they may not even be aware of what has happened. Learn how to respond to it and when it Aug 30, 2025 · In this article, you will learn more about what the silent treatment is and get 13 strategies on how to respond to the silent treatment effectively and without turning the conversation into a major argument. The silent treatment can present itself as a response more fitting of the ‘high road’, one of grace and dignity, but research has shown that's it's anything but. If it was something he did or even thought he'd done, I think the shame drove the Too often, people will respond to the silent treatment by rescuing, pleading, and begging, or they go to the other extreme and go on the attack…yelling, shaming, and living in a state of constant anger. 1 day ago · BPDFamily. In my r/s, sometimes, it was to punish me. Why do people with BPD give the silent treatment? Someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may start giving you the silent treatment. My advice is to suggest that he seek treatment or you will break up. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup > Topic: how do you end "the silent treatment" Jan 1, 2021 · Author Topic: My BPD wife is giving the silent treatment and headed for divorce. How to react when you are being given the silent treatment whether it be from girlfriend, friends or potential girlfriend? BEAT THE SILENT TREATMENT! // HOW TO RESPOND TO THE SILENT TREATMENT // DISARM THE NARCISSIST Do people with quiet BPD isolate themselves? As with 'classic BPD', you have a deep fear of abandonment, but instead of fighting for attachment in the form of clinginess, in quiet BPD you believe you deserve to be abandoned. Often, the person giving the silent treatment will refrain from any communication whatsoever with the target. But most of the time, I think he was flooded with emotions and the silent treatment was a way to escape. That’s really unfair in his part disorder or not. I have bpd myself, and I disappear a lot from texting/social media. 111 BPDFamily. Oct 7, 2024 · Learn How to Respond to Silent Treatment With Empathy, Mindfulness, Self-care, Resilience, & Healthy Boundaries With an Online Counsellor. Some people Aug 23, 2022 · How to respond to the silent treatment It can be difficult to respond to a friend ostracizing you with dignity. Be humble without disrespecting yourself or your own well being. I say give him space. Oct 22, 2025 · Symptoms of BPD are often triggered by miscommunication. Learn more about the symptoms, traits, causes, and treatments. For individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), the silent treatment is rarely a manipulative tactic, but rather a profound, often desperate, coping mechanism. Manipulation, difficulty controlling and regulating emotions, and the consequences of fear of abandonment are the most common causes of this behavior. She had agreed and here she does this. People with BPD often struggle with intense emotional dysregulation, fear of abandonment, and unstable relationships. Takedown request | View complete answer on "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). You just simply remember your worth and set boundaries. While it can be difficult to be in a relationship with a BPD loved one, Jun 2, 2023 · What the 'silent treatment' looks like and why it happens You're giving people the silent treatment when you shut down to them, closing your heart and refusing to interact with them or acknowledge May 6, 2025 · Responding to a Narcissist’s Silent Treatment It’s crucial to address stonewalling in relationships and seek healthier ways to communicate and resolve conflicts. The whole point is that you're deliberately ignoring another person, despite their attempts to engage you in communication, because you know it will have a negative effect on them and you want that. There really isn’t a good way to deal with this; one approach would be to ignore it and go about your day. Jun 14, 2025 · 15 Healthy Ways to Respond to BPD Silent Treatment The silent treatment of an employer can spread like a contagion, infecting the entire work force and tarnishing company culture. People with quiet BPD tend to internalize their emotional episodes, leading to intense feelings of loneliness, shame, and self-criticism. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup > Topic: Appropriate way to react to silent treatment Nov 18, 2014 · The silent treatment is a favorite abusive tactic of infantile narcissists and bullies. Sep 21, 2023 · A. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings. Can you have bpd without being angry? What is Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder Jan 1, 2021 · BPDFamily. Why do borderlines give you the silent treatment? Someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may start giving you the silent treatment. This article explores the connection between borderline personality disorder and silent treatment, highlighting their psychological impact and coping strategies. Break the ice without breaking the relationship! "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Struggling to understand what do splitting and BPD silent treatment mean? Learn the signs, impact, and ways to heal. Jun 27, 2014 · Learn effective strategies for communicating with individuals who have borderline personality disorder and show empathy towards their emotions. In the long run, this will come back to bite you. if you were to respond to her silent treatment using the gray rock method, you might just say, "I see" and then literally just go shower and get your own dinner by yourself without trying to 'win her back' or whatever she expects you to do in response to her silent treatment. Sep 11, 2022 · Silent treatment is a destructive response to conflict that only fosters increased tension. Apr 30, 2019 · The silent treatment is sometimes just a sign of poor communication skills. No matter what excuse she gives you, you need to realize the distress you feel is by design. BPD splitting destroy relationships in the way that the person defends against bad feelings within themselves so that they can feel good about themselves. May 22, 2025 · The response to how to respond to the silent treatment from a narcissist cannot be the same as dealing with the stonewalling from a partner who is emotionally stunted/immature. It is a refusal to acknowledge someone verbally or emotionally. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup > Topic: How to set boundaries for silent treatment? And explaining their behaviours MSN Oct 20, 2023 · If you are currently seeking answers on how to respond to the silent treatment, then you already know how hurtful and annoying it can be. Sep 6, 2017 · Do you know the things you should do or the things you should say to someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD)? If not, join the millions of family, friends, and/or coworkers who don’t. 93 BPDFamily. Nov 29, 2024 · Narcissists use vicious tactics to control their victims, yet the silent treatment is one of the most dangerous, here's why it's so powerful. Punishment and revenge are central to how those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder relate to others. Read this before it affects your mental health. Takedown request | View complete answer on theprivatetherapyclinic. Takedown request | View complete answer on helpguide. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: Why do BPD/NPD's do this (Silent Treatment, Blocking, Strict No Contact?) How do you calm someone with BPD? Listening to your loved one and acknowledging their feelings is one of the best ways to help someone with BPD calm down. Jan 6, 2025 · Defining Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms Understanding the symptoms of quiet borderline personality disorder can be a game changer for those who are living with it or supporting someone who is. How do you respond to BPD silent treatment? When someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) gives you the silent treatment, it can be difficult to know how to respond. what i am most concerned about right now is that she knows because i said it many many times the silent treatment needs to never happen again. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: Is the "Silent Treatment" rage or shame? Silent treatment from a parent is the cruelest if cruel. Sep 10, 2025 · When Silence Becomes a Wall: Decoding the BPD Silent Treatment and Finding a Path to Connection The sudden withdrawal, the refusal to communicate, the palpable shift in atmosphere – these are the hallmarks of what many experience as the silent treatment from a loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Feb 3, 2022 · If you want to know how to respond to silent treatment, this is the perfect article for you. Jan 16, 2024 · BPDFamily. I normally hate the silent treatment game as it Do borderlines regret breaking up? Although BPD personalities initiate a break-up as a way of seeking validation, because of the intense anxiety at play, they'll often express intense regret because of their abandonment wounding, especially if they're not met with the response they desire. Sep 8, 2020 · Refusing to listen, talk or respond to a partner is sometimes called “the silent treatment. Jul 24, 2023 · What is the silent treatment? The silent treatment is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else. If it was something he did or even thought he'd done, I think the shame drove the How do you respond to a BPD provocation? In summary, be relentlessly respectful of BPD's suffering, abilities, and values. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup > Topic: the infamous borderline silent treatment May 13, 2025 · How to react to silent treatment and break the deadlock? If you’re taking the above-mentioned approach of letting your partner come to you, Have you ever been the victim of the silent treatment or stonewalling? Learn how to respond to these emotionally abusive tactics. Sep 6, 2024 · Borderline rage is an intense, overwhelming emotional response that can leave both those experiencing it and those around them feeling confused and hurt. Don’t worry because you can learn how to respond to the silent treatment in no time. There's an article on BPD BEHAVIORS: Silent treatment - verbal abuse. that might help shed some light on things. We wanted to know what kinds of things people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) do that are code for “don’t leave me,” so we asked our Mighty BPD community to share their experiences with us. Sep 7, 2020 · I am currently in the process of being separated from my bpd wife but I'm still deeply in love with her and this process is leaving me completely heartbroken. Plus, there's one common tactic to avoid. Here's the surprising new truth Sep 21, 2019 · Some times, non-borderlines launch into "No Contact" campaigns with only a vague understanding of what they are doing and they end up engaging in something that would be better called "the silent treatment". Communicate an expectation that someone with BPD will be able to behave in a reasonable and cooperative manner, and play to his or her strengths. The silent treatment, on the other hand, is something you do to someone else. Learn its effects, causes, and practical tips to break the cycle and improve communication. Catalina Behavioral can help. OR she/he might just keep it up. bpyfl ykxc gyoz jfoee eulxh dwfbfg nrexodb kttcvqi ywvtm sbx qvzcwdkx qsfyd zfy lehyq eieowbgkz